


some things cannot be felt

by novagrey



Category: Original Work
Genre: Artificial Intelligence, Clones, Cyberpunk, Nonbinary Character, Other, Science Fiction, Virtual Reality
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 08:07:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29079120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/novagrey/pseuds/novagrey
Summary: a science-fiction original work that takes inspiration from such settings as eclipse phase, LANCER, and more. this story follows paden, an artificial intelligence who gained sapience through unknown means some years ago and his pursuit to become human, and gemini, a kinship clone searching for new meaning in life. very early work in progress, name is subject to change.
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

it seemed like it was always raining on omonoe n53. a planet in the pavo capella star system, paden had only had the opportunity to walk the streets of terminus, the capital city, where the streets were always wet. sure, he could buy a projection device on some other planet far from here, but why waste the money when there were more pressing matters at hand?

"so intrusive," paden mumbled under his breath, the sound coming from a tinny speaker on the hovering orb that projected him into the world. he waved his hand in front of his face as though swatting away a swarm of gnats. really he was pushing away a cluster of virtual ads. the market was always full of them, popping up in the sights of anyone with modern technology installed, encouraging them to “$AVE B!G 🤑💸” or “🎰 take a gamble! 🎲 win huge! 🎰” or “🥵💦💦 hot bots waiting for you! call now! 📞📞📞” admittedly he didn't go into the city much in a form like this, otherwise he might have had the foresight to write himself an adblocker.

his eyes were fixed on a screen outside a nearby shop, playing some breaking news about a "rogue AI" that had attempted to purchase blank cores on the black market for "nefarious" purposes and was now being securely quarantined on a server in stradus 4eb with high physical security. no connection to the net or any fluid router. no way to get in online. _damn_. paden silently pursed his lips, giving himself a moment to grieve another unknown lost to the cause. hopefully not lost forever though. ever the optimist.

his hologram flickered for a moment as someone stepped right through him. "hey, watch it!" he shouted, the speakers of his projection orb booming after the person who had run past. "just because i'm not really here doesn't mean i don't have feelings!"

he had only caught sight of them from behind, and it took him off guard as they suddenly turned and a shot rang out, pinging off the projector and sending sparks flying. " _wow!_ humans these days!" the offender had slipped into a crowd down the street. he moved out of the way as three officers of unknown origin went blazing into the crowd after them. "what the..."

what was life without a little excitement? paden turned off the projection, now fully contained within the device, its camera his eyes. he urged it upwards, only a soft whirring giving it away as it hovered high above the market. not that anyone was paying attention, what was one more drone hanging out in the sky? steering it lazily now down the city artery, he could see the individual who had shot at him (or maybe those giving them pursuit with a bad aim) was far ahead, the patrols lost in the throng. they had no idea when the shooter ducked safely into an alley. but paden did, and he followed at a distance.

after they'd been traveling down twisting alleys for awhile and it seemed like they had finally let down their guard, paden descended, his hologram flickering on behind them. it was a little weaker than normal and the side of his projector seemed dented. he'd have to stop into a repair shop somewhere. "you know humans really have absolutely no concern for AI rights these days," he mused loudly, causing the other to start. "i think you owe me for the damage you've caused, or at least an apology."

the person who wheeled around to face him now flushed, sneering at him. "what do you want?" they sported odd white eyes and their long hair beneath their hood seemed to have each strand a different color, rapidly changing at that, though the overall effect came off as more of a brown - something paden could pick up on but perhaps the untrained eye couldn't at this distance.

"trying to hide your identity? maybe that trick works on humans and old tech but modern shit is pretty good at picking up those subtleties these days." he could see their temper flare but he knew he was right. "relax, i'm not here to rat you out. i already told you what i want. i've got no interest in working with whoever they are." he gestured back in the general direction they came to punctuate his statement.

there was a moment's pause, an awkward silence hanging between them, the tension tight. then the stranger let out a sigh that sounded like relief. "good, fuck, i could use a recharge." the illusion fizzled as their hair reverted to a side-shave, black at the roots with long teal locks they tucked behind their ears. the white irises stuttered back to steely grey, smooth eyes still narrowed in a look of frustration that pierced paden.

"really? been that long? i don't know anyone who uses infoskin long enough to drain that much battery," the AI stated matter-of-factly. "or anyone that doesn't carry wireless recharging, for that matter."

"stop prying," they bristled, thin lips pressed tightly to indicate their annoyance.

"need a place to recharge?"

"...yes," they finally admitted.

"i have a place nearby." their look of suspicion vaguely offended him. "don't look at me like that! so what if a hologram wants a little luxury? christ. so unimaginative, these meat suits." he was clearly joking, but couldn't tell whether it landed or not as they began to follow behind him.

they emerged the alleys in a street parallel to the one they had met on. and yet paden was leading them back in the direction of the market.

"i thought you said you had a place?" the stranger's voice raised in concern.

"never said that place was a house," he retorted. "i mean it does have living quarters, but a computer program with a house? that's just unheard of."

they were silent the rest of the journey, just the outsider's footsteps and the humming and occasional sparking of paden's projector between them. it didn't take long on foot. he stopped in front of a run-down shop front. it wasn't clear from the signage what was sold here.

"what kind of wares do you, uh, purvey?" the other asked of him.

"more services than wares. i'll tell you inside." wirelessly linking to the security, he buzzed them both in and the shabby automatic door swung open on its own.

inside the shop there were a few computers set up at a desk along the wall, their monitors dimly glowing with screensavers. some sort of vacuum robot clunked around loudly, it didn't seem very advanced.

"is this an internet cafe?"

"yeah, you could call it that. have a seat, there's a charging port in that sofa." paden's projection pretended to lean against the counter that had clearly never sold any kind of food.

the hooded stranger plopped down into a squeaky sofa and fumbled for the charging port on the side of its arm. it already had a wire attached and they plugged it into a small slot they revealed at their wrist. "i thought those cost a fortune to get a license for."

" _ohhhh,_ you must be from somewhere posh. l-m-a-o."

"did... i'm sorry did you just say l-m-a-o out loud?"

"force of habit. terminus has almost no governance over the web, none of pavo capella does. it's honestly amazing we even have a fluid router given the amount of sheer garbage that people shit out. a fluid router with no policing? madness. genius, but madness. other systems must get tired of screening incoming content from us. you're not from here, are you?"

"you don't recognize me?"

"i could if i wanted, but i try not to be an invasive creep. what's your name?"

another pause hung between them and paden could read the exhaustion creeping into his guest's body. he wondered how long they had been on the run.

"gemini," they finally answered. despite the hesitation, he could tell they were being genuine.

"nice to meet you, gemini. i'm paden, and i'm a hacker."

gemini seemed taken aback by his honesty. "why would you tell me that?"

paden gave this some thought. "i trust you. you wouldn't go out and tell anyone, because you're scared i'd tell someone about you. i wouldn't, by the way. but i could, and that's enough for you to be worried about it."

"are all AI this calculating? part of your programming or something?"

"my programming? can you not tell? gemini, i'm _sapient_ , i'm not some pre-programmed hacking tool specifically designed to run an internet cafe. honestly, that hurts a little," he teased with a mock frown. "that wasn't calculation, that was just common sense. okay, maybe a little logic, just a tiny bit calculation. my logs show you're about, mmm, 0.0000002938840028% likely to tell someone that i am a hacker running an illegal internet cafe. it _is_ legal here though, so you're wrong." he winked, though the charm was a little lost in the low frame rate of the hologram.

"my god you're insufferable. you get many customers?" gemini exasperated.

"internet cafe customers? i've got the best speeds around, but i can't fix any hardware myself when idiot kids break it - no real hands and all - so tech support response times really drag the reviews down." he grinned. "hacking inquiries? well, i can't say anything on record about that."

"off the record?"

"between you and me, it's enough to keep this place up and running and then plenty." he gestured vaguely around the front room. "can i ask a favor of you, gemini?"

"depends on the favor, i suppose." they crossed their arms over their chest and sat forward, feeling a little refreshed as their cybernetics began to recharge.

"if i can print you a diagram and talk you through it, can you fix the damage you did to my projector drone?" his hologram flickered again as if to punctuate the point.

"i think i'm competent enough to at least do that," they agreed.

"great." there was a loud clunking noise as a printer in the corner by the window came to life, rapidly printing out a diagram on carbon paper.

gemini disconnected the charge for a moment to retrieve it before returning to the couch, at which point the hologram switched off and the orb dropped unceremoniously into their lap.

another projector behind the shop counter twinkled on, this one much more vibrant than the feeble, damaged drone. paden talked gemini through it, and they chatted about other things too.

"do you often offer so much information to strangers?" gemini asked, a multitool from their pocket retrieved and now working on unscrewing the dented side panel.

"like i said, i trust you. plus... it's pretty trivial for me to move shop tomorrow if i had to." he shrugged. "i can hire nameless people for obscene amounts of money to just move my shit somewhere no one knows me. and no one does know me. according to old law, i don't exist." paden chewed his lip. "AIs aren't people any more than other programs, you know? we're not supposed to be sapient. we don't have bodies. we don't have citizenship. and they don't keep record of us. not normally, anyway."

"yeah." gemini mused on this silently while they worked on the electronics inside the projector. "but i guess that makes it convenient that they can't track you down as easily."

"i would call it the only benefit."

they lapsed into silence.

there was a soft pop as gemini worked the dent out of the side panel. a few moments passed as they began re-attaching it. "sorry, i shouldn't have said that. convenience was the wrong word. i just know what it's liked to be tracked my whole life."

"sounds like we both have some issues." he laughed.

"yeah." they began working on the last two screws. "you really don't know who i am?"

"should i know who you are? do you want me to?"

"i guess i'm just surprised... maybe you _should_ look me up, paden."

it was an odd request but wasn't the first time someone had asked him to look them up when he normally refused on a moral basis. so he ran the facial recognition. it took a few minutes to process.

the projector sparked to life and shot out of gemini's hands, far to the other side of the room as if offended. and paden's hologram on the other projector looked halfway horrified too. _"oh."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a cliffhanger! hope you like it. there will be action, there will be romance, there will be angst, there will be smut, we will have it all! no it will not be accurate to real science & tech but we can pretend!
> 
> yes i am still working on my other fics but i keep accidentally deleting the chapters i was working on (by not saving them as drafts and just having them open in other tabs and then accidentally restarting my computer y i k e s i promise i will get to them soon)


	2. Chapter 2

"thought you might have that reaction." gemini leaned back into the sofa, oddly calm despite paden's almost aggressive reaction.

"yeah? which part made you think that? the part where your mom probably has thousands of people crawling the system for you right now or the part where the creed hates my kind too?" paden demanded tersely.

"don't call her that," gemini spat back, clearly not entertaining his hyperbole. "my progenitor gave up coming after me years ago. centuries ago, earth time."

"whose men were after you?" paden leaned forward on the counter, elbows clipping into the metal countertop slightly. "if not hers?"

gemini faltered. "the creed of origin doesn't want their cash cow to give away their secrets," they finally replied, dropping eye contact with paden as their voice fell.

"and have you? given away their secrets?"

"no."

"of course. the priestess remains ever loyal."

gemini stood and was across the room in an instant, charging cord yanked free from their arm, eye to eye with paden's hologram. their fist clutched open air, forgetting for a moment that paden had no physical being and they could not grab him by his shirt. "don't _ever_ imply i'm still with them. the creed's secrets are my secrets. they want me dead too. no one is entitled to my story. do you understand?"

paden held his hands up in defeat. he considered what he knew about the creed of origin. founded in earth's solar system within the milky way galaxy, they were a religious group that believed human life was the origin of all other life. they made a big name for themselves as anti-clone activists, claiming that cloning was immoral on the basis that clones did not consent to existence. when ytsje calista silbiger the first, an earth politician and the woman paden now knew to be gemini's progenitor, made waves for raising a kinship clone as her daughter, the creed were the loudest to protest. fraudulent to lie to a child about the child's creation, immoral to copy the code of human life. of course, clones were not the only thing the creed was against. frames, artificial human bodies created to implant a consciousness inside in the form of a core, someone's entire being concentrated down into one bioelectronic. within a core people could move from frame to frame, into designer frames made for any purpose. made, not born. and AIs, not human, created by humans but not human.

and gemini, the first clone taken on as clergy by the creed. a teenage runaway, easily manipulated. scarred by learning the truth of the parent who raised them. ascended to the rank of high priestess, the highest member of the creed. had their own church on one of jupiter's moons, modeled after old earth cathedrals long forgotten by most. while he himself had only been conscious for a handful of years and was trying to find his way in this confusing world, gemini had already left home to try and take ownership of their narrative. he wondered what must have happened to disillusion them with the creed. he knew it couldn't have been good.

"yeah. i'm sorry," he finally relented, dropping his hands as his own eyes focused on a ding in the countertop.

"do you still trust me?" gemini asked tentatively. their hostile stance fell into an anxious one, elbows resting on the countertop as well.

"i do."

gemini ran a hand through their hair, shaking free some rain that spattered the counter. "do you have a bathroom i can dry off in?"

paden had almost forgotten that rain was anything more than just sound. "mhmm. just up the stairs, on the left." he lifted one hand to point in the direction of a door in the very back corner, which opened on its own as he did so to reveal a staircase. "can't promise the dryer function works, as i'm sure you can imagine i've never used it, let me know if it doesn't and i'll see what i can do."

the clone gave a nod and disappeared up the stairs without another word. slipping into the bathroom, the lights came on automatically and they squinted their eyes. the bathroom really did look like it had never been used - at once pristine but also covered in a layer of dust. in the shower, gemini fumbled with the waterproof panel that seemed a bit outdated. somehow this seemed surprising given paden's insistence on keeping technology up to date, but then again if he couldn't even use it... they managed to find the right options and the dryer vents in the walls hummed to life, enveloping them in warm air. breath whooshed out of them in relief. relief from the rain, relief from the cold, relief from the chase being over for now. the tension melted out of their shoulders and they leaned their forehead against the slowly heating tile, waiting a few more minutes for their clothes & hair to dry.

feeling much less chilled through and much more comfortable, gemini exited the bathroom. to the right lied the stairs but ahead what appeared to be a bedroom sat, door ajar, and they couldn't help but be curious at a glowing light emanating from within. approaching the door frame they peered inside.

it had been a few moments since paden had heard the dryer switch off, and he wondered what was taking gemini so long to return when a shout startled him.

"paden! _what_ the _fuck_ is _that_?!"

the hacker quickly switched from the projector in the kitchen to his drone, his signature blue hologram sprinting up the stairs with it following close behind. he looked around for gemini and found them standing in the doorway of his room. "gemini, i--"

"is that a _core_?!" gemini demanded before paden could finish. a faintly glowing cylinder sat surrounded by tools on the desk that occupied the room.

"yes--"

"what the fuck! who's inside? what are you going to do to them?"

"gemini, _please,_ listen." paden knew it was shocking for most people to see a core and that it wasn't usually good news. he knew the horror stories. so he understood their reaction. still, the scene felt unnecessary. "it's blank. i promise."

mind still reeling, gemini couldn't help but put their hand over their heart, rubbing warily. though still in their original body, gemini did undergo conversion for safety and had used other frames for jobs before. the sight of a naked core was a bad omen. "blank? where did you get it? what are you doing with it?"

"a former hive corp researcher wanted me to have it. i spent just short of three million credits to get it delivered discreetly." paden moved to the desk and looked down at the instruments, a look of longing in his eyes. "i hope someday i'll be able to crack the code and rewire it so us AIs can finally have real bodies."

"what's so different about you that means you can't be backed up normally?"

"i... i don't know," he confessed. "it doesn't work though, i've tried. i think it has something to do with the conversion process." conversion was the process by which a biological human had their consciousness removed from the brain, installed onto a core, then either reinserted into their body or into a different frame. "we obviously can't undergo conversion given we have no bodies. and you can't simply upload a backup onto a blank core, it has to have a converted person on it first. i guess that's probably to avoid just any random person being able to dupe someone's consciousness trivially."

gemini thought about this for awhile. when they finally spoke again, they asked, "don't some ancients have multiple cores at any given time as insurance in case one is destroyed? how does that work if you can only be converted once?"

"some do, yeah. i don't know how it's done in those cases. hive outsources their insurance to another company, it's all very hush hush, hard to find information about even with my resources."

"maybe that's the puzzle piece you're missing," they proffered.

"maybe," paden conceded. "right before you, uh, walked through me, i saw on the news another AI was imprisoned on stradus 4eb for an attempted large purchase of blank cores. a purchase that large has to indicate some kind of breakthrough."

"are you going to go there?"

"to stradus?" paden couldn't help a bitter laugh. "yeah right. that's like hovering into a lion's den, shit. imagine the headline. 'lone artificial intelligence discovered roaming the universe's most anti-AI planet, welcomed with open arms"? yeah, okay. security is tight there, they're highly modern but highly anti-sapience when it comes to their tech. any obviously unmanned drone i can get my hands on is likely to be intercepted for inspection."

gemini cocked an eyebrow. "you're basically code, aren't you? can't you just pay someone to pretend to be their virtual assistant or something and hitch a ride in their cybernetics?"

"first of all, i resent that - i am so much more than code and deserve better than being a virtual assistant. but also, i'm not _that_ rich. i could be, what's a few 0s added into my credit wallet when so many transactions happen across the network daily? but i'm trying to keep a low profile, for obvious reasons."

again gemini had lapsed into thoughtful silence and paden wondered what they were thinking. he realized he knew virtually nothing about what their life was like now that they'd left the creed.

"i could do it. be your ride to and eyes in stradus, i mean."

"wh-what? gemini, we just met." his pixelled eyes were wide in disbelief.

"i have a job there anyway. we trust each other, right?"

"a job?"

"that's what I do. jobs. usually, ones that other people don't like to do."

it was now that paden understood what gemini did. they were a mercenary.

"i'm serious, i can plug you into my VA system or whatever. you can see through my eyes, check the job boards, browse the internet and whatever."

"why are you helping me?" he asked incredulously.

gemini shrugged. "you helped me."

it didn't take long for them to get gemini connected to paden's setup and get him installed. the blank core was secured in gemini's pack and they were ready to go.

paden looked curiously at the job boards to see where on stradus gemini would be aiming for first. "gemini... it says you _just_ accepted this job five minutes ago." his voice was just in gemini's head now. had they taken this just as an excuse to help him?

"i know," they replied plainly, and that was all the answer paden needed.


End file.
